Self Notion

Fr: Nazgul of RB

Quick question: What can one do if one's on the rebound from a failed long-term relationship (flirting skills = rusty); is a well known snob or "too close to girls", and people think he's not date material but very much friend material?

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How you see and perceive yourself is different with how you portray yourself. The famous line from a Batman movie comes to play ”It is not what you are deep inside, it is what you do.. that defines you”

Put it simply, all the things that you do will serve as sort of a façade that will determine how people will perceive you as. Since they have no other means from which to draw conclusions, people will just simply base their perception of you on what is conspicuous, however speculative that may be.

So you think you are a bit rusty in the field of relating, you think that people consider you as being “too close to girls” therefore should not be trusted when it comes to intimacy or that you are not a BF material so should only be treated as a friend. That my friend is how you perceive yourself and can be considered as a simple self notion. Then again.. if somebody tells you all that, then let ‘that’ serve as a challenge for you – prove them wrong!

The question that you should be asking yourself is ”Am I ready to finally give what is due not just to myself but to the one that I want to be with?”

When you have finally chosen someone to pursue and you're ready to make a full commitment, you will find yourself asking question and have sort of a nagging sense of self-doubt. ”Is she/he really the one for me?”, Am I making the right choice?, Will I fail?, Will I not regret this in the long run?, Does she/he feels the same way?”

Yes these queries are quite natural, you just simply want to ensure yourself. Well, the best way to make sure a relationship succeeds is to make sure it's the right one from the start! Now take that necessary first step and cross the bridge to the other side. You'll never know, unless you'll give it in to it, like first class.

Good Luck!